Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Art crew in the mean streets of #FortFrances


One of our crew may be going to the big house for a little while. We are a badass #NorthWesternOntario paint-flingin', sawdust-spewing, papier-mache sodden #ArtCrew . We so bad that American Fishermen steal our sculptures and make sweet, sordid BronzeBack love to them... and bad touch... and abandon them to the tender mercies of predawn #FortFrances .

Rain is too humid for paper.
Glass loves rain, however. Glass in your windows, glass in your car, glass in your hand.

We are so badass; we have puppets that fly to Mars and reenact "1984". But not at the same time. Yet. Our puppet budget and technology is slightly above "pathetic and weak". Quality control is exercised by smelling the puppets. We have people for that.

Big Mask

Wayne And Shuster : Swan Lake Murders

This is the sketch comedy that I grew up with, in Red Lake, Ontario. One of Frank Shuster's family members created Superman. Johnny Wayne was my only hero, for a while; in the time of a boy.

Part 1

Part 2


A Sudden Noise. Close.

There was a quickly amplifying sound of car engine? brakes? then two "crumps", the unmistakeable bass and screech of quickly-folding metal.

"Holy shit!", so says we all.

Out the door, already punching 911. Z. and others fly, converge.

I speak to the operator, listen to an eyewitness and offer directives to the emergent heroes, slithering in and out the pickup window. Doesn't look like she stole anything, but I can't be sure.

"Do NOT move him."

"Turn off the engines."

Engines, engines.

"How many vehicles?" she said.
"Multi-vehicle. At least three."

"Where's the driver of that car?"

Dead, dead. Fucking dead.
In a tree, or somebody's flowerbox...
NOT in the car.
Shit. Not parts... please not parts.

"Do NOT move that guy!"

Distant siren.

Just one driver? Two parked cars? No bystanders?
Holy shit.


I heard that he was all over the road, prior to the crash.
Bad throttle cable? Stroke? Marinated? Forget where the brake was?

Folks from the UNFC were amongst the first on scene, rendering assistance. The driver plowed into two cars parked in front of the building.

Fort Frances car crash July 30

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Mars thoughts and art theft


{Update; July 27, 1:40 am: The artwork mentioned below has been found and is on its way back. Thanks to the good folks of #FortFrances , the #mocassintelegraph and #FortFrancesUnderground . New #ZzorhnAndBingoRage podcast added to posting.}


I forgot to include these thoughts with the previous posting. Mars could be terraformed, quick and dirty, by crashing an asteroid or comet into its northern polar cap. What?...

Mars is small. The whole planet is just wider than the distance from the Earth's surface to the centre of its core. Because it is so small, Mars couldn't retain its formative primal heat or generate enough of its own nuclear heat to maintain a moving, molten core. No core, no planetary dynamo generating an overall planetary magnetic field. No magnetic field and the atmosphere gets stripped into space, leaving the surface dry, cold and irradiated.

I propose to "partially-terraform Mars, with a single-event". I would prefer to crash a large comet -rather than an asteroid- into the northern polar cap of Mars, for two reasons: 1)It is more likely to break up and form an airburst in the thin atmosphere than an asteroid and 2)it would bring its own payload of water, CO2 and organic molecules to this desert island. I'll try not to hit the NASA probe on the cap.

Our choice of airburst, only a few kilometres above the surface, will vaporise a significant portion of the current "Martian ice age". This event will fill the atmosphere with enough water vapour and carbon dioxide to kickstart greenhouse warming on Mars, increase surface air pressure, reduce radiation load and -hopefully- restart a hydrologic cycle. Surface water and precipitation will help neutralise and wash out the soils, as well as eliminate global dust storms. Alas, this miracle may be a temporary Eden. The atmosphere will begin to leak into space, immediately, unprotected by the gravity and magnetic field that we currently enjoy. The question is, how long would it last, if it were thick enough to be dynamic, warm and wet?
50 years may be enough to provide humanity with an emergency raft in the face of global evacuation.

What could we do in 50 years? What could a planet do in 50 years? At the very least, we ought to be able to engineer another bolide strike on one of the ice caps. If a successful greenhouse effect can be sustained, however, the atmosphere may just mine the caps for water and CO2 for us, offsetting the erosion of the solar wind and gravity leakage. Then what? Have I created an engine to burn off another planet's life support resources? Cool. Don't worry, people will be more moral and responsible in a hundred years; they'll figure it out. Maybe we can restart the core by detonating zillions of nukes down boreholes.

Mars can probably defend itself. If the human parasite manages to establish a foothold on Mars, it is likely fated to be a temporary visitor. There is probably an extant biome buried on Mars, lurking in ices, aquifers and deep atmospheric pools. It will bloom if the atmosphere is jumpstarted, and will certainly be hostile, without malice.

200 years from now:

We survived the jump to Mars. We are thriving; gardening in the Martian soil has been accomplished and the enhanced atmosphere is currently self sustaining. Cannibalism is shockingly common and everybody is sprouting extra fingers. We are more comfortable inside, of course, but the kids run around without suits and mock the sluggish. The sock puppets left us generations ago, sailing across the sea... begging us never to follow them.

#ZzorhnAndBingoRage are revered as pioneers and heroes, receiving full pardons and election to the #RoyalOrderOfMars . #Canada is no longer a country, but is revered as a good start.


New ZABR audio podcast posted.

{July 26. Sculpture found, abandoned. But, taken care of and returned, by community.}

I am sorry to end a funny entry with a bummer note, but one of my best sculptures was stolen from the back of my pickup truck last night. The ShovelMask was a combination of Whitetailed-deer antlers, #papiermache head, snowshovel neck/body, oil-clay and acrylic paintjob.
One of my favourite works and crowd favourite at shows.

I had left my vehicle parked at #StudioChezZzorhn with the box rolltop closed and tailgate closed, but no locks. Someone eased it open and pulled the piece, easing the tailgate partially shut afterward. I discovered the theft when the tailgate fell open as I drove away the next afternoon.

Help me spread the news and let the thieves know that I need the artwork back. I have very little and it represents a significant investment of time and effort. You can contact the local paper at http://www.fftimes.com/ , send social media messages to #Canada #art networks, put up stolen artwork posters
(please pass this info. to friends and family and strangers in Fort frances - Rainy River District). I can't afford a reward, but agree to not "get medieval on your ass", etc. if you return the artwork. Please be careful with it. Yes, feel bad, but don't use that as an excuse to destroy it, please. Thank you.

It's most likely still in town, in the moist, pasty hands of some local scum, but could have been taken by pne of those slick American Fishermen in town for the pro Bass tourney. There's no telling what lurid practices they are employing upon the innocent acrylic skin of my child. My art-child. Brain/mind-baby.

Send $1500.00 to Eric C. Keast...
c/o Northern Lights Credit Union
601 Mowat Avenue
Fort Frances, Ontario, Canada
P9A 1Z2
to assuage your guilt and/or
sponsor the #ZzorhnAndBingoRage Show
and/or to commission a new canvas, etc.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Mars or bust


#ELE420  Chapter03

"Mars or bust."

      So. The last chapter of  #ELE420 ended with the destruction of the moon and the beginning of the journey to Mars. Even with our advanced technology, it will still be a month-long trip in the good ship "Lollipop". Neila has made a strong move, however, sabotaging the big red buttons; the ship won't last out the hour, as things are.

     Our regiment of handpicked "moral-responsibility"-trained spacebitch repopulation volunteers is reeling from the revelation that they have to service the engineers, as well as the other human repopulation volunteers.

     Eric, the self-appointed captain is reeling from apparent hallucinations; terrifying visitations by a creepy, tiny, pointy, scaly, overtouchy little pervert.

      Zzorhn is suffering from occasional bouts of Turkish language and spacebitch scheduling conflicts.

     Z, built  and painted the spaceship by himself, with some design input and detailing from Eric. I photographed the model from several angles against a dark green sheet and was able to create our "launch videos" and moon landscapes integrating the ZABR-"Lollipop".

      Fiddling with the brightness and colour controls made it easier to make the "greenscreen" effect. A brighter, more uniformly coloured sheet would probably work better, but cost money. :P

     The ship was hung with clear monofilament labelled "invisible thread", suspended by hook-screws in my ceiling.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Blue Moon. Blued up, blued-up real good. Punk Rock scifi from #NorthwesternOntario.

 photo 3968c4bd-29ec-4f19-af92-7b33069a3afa_zps0ed59247.jpg

Howdy BingoRagers. It is the height of summer and I have need to post.
This is a pic of Z. and I modelling the latest in post-earth self-contained environments, during the fabrication process.

The #ZzorhnAndBingoRage Show successfully completed the LIVE-production of our scifi
exploratory vehicle, #ELE420: “#ELE420AreYouReady ?”. The “live” show was actually our second installment in the #ELE420 series; we uploaded the first episode to YouTube as “#ELE420AreYouReady - Recruitment Field Trip”. All characters introduced in the first episode are present in the LIVE-production second episode.

ELE420 - Chapter 01 : Recruitment Field Trip

If you tried to catch the LIVE broadcast of the second #ELE420 episode at our Ustream channel, however, You would have received no audio in the feed. A wrong setting cut the audio channel. My apologies for the glitch and sincere thanks to you for trying to check it out. Please don't be afraid to catch our next LIVE show; they are scary fun to do and occasionally funny.

We recorded the show.. yaaayyy.. and I will post after I edit the video and clean-up the audio. :P {Ed. : Done, posted, below.}

The show prep was running late, as usual. Z. Was clowning around, but working efficiently, as were our guests. We had a hanging, two-sided set panel with a moon exterior and spaceship interior. Other paper props include 3 “space helmets”, “Neila” (troublesome stowaway) and the good spaceship “Lollipop” built by Z.

One camera focused on the panel and another laptop cam focused on a “cockpit” set |(next time, we will have a better mic.). Eric made some “greenscreen” videos to show our blastoff, from an exterior view. The moon and earth animations are by Eric, as well.

The story was originated by Zzorhn and written up by Eric. Most dialogue is improv, guests have minimal direction.

ELE420 - Chapter02 : #ELE420AreYouReady ?

Zzorhn and I built the props at our downtown #FortFrances "open studio", #StudioChezZzorhn , with the assistance of Denise G. and other volunteers. We also reused the Sturgeon papercast as our "whale".

* N.B. : Photo thumbnails click for enlargement
in new tab/window.

Space helmet's first iteration; as beachball and filched cardboard. The beachball comes from a super giant retailer that is somehow making more money by preinflating their beachballs somewhere else, sealing them and rendering the beachballs non-reinflatable. A deflated ball no longer means "patch and blowing it up again"; it now means "go buy another". They must have an inflation step on this side of the Pacific, or they are paying to ship bubbles of air by volume. What mean-hearted son-of-a-bitch invents a beachball that can't be reinflated, anyway?

 photo 7cbe32e9-c4a8-455d-a903-303b2d106e5a_zps0c184ce0.jpg

#artkitteh stress-tests our next-generation portable human biosphere management system. Z. quietly embarassing himself, for science.

#artkitteh #spacehelmet #art #scifi #ELE420 July 2013 photo AstroZzorhn_ArtKitteh_June06_2013_zps283c04e0.jpg

Our official #ZABRSpaceProgram helmet, with official ZABR colour scheme and rocking the #MapleLeaf . #StudioChezZzorhn June 2013

space helmet in papiermache #StudioChezZzorhn June 2013 photo astronaut_SCZ_june19_2013_zps3f1379fb.jpg

#artkitteh and human volunteer pressure-test the finished #spacehelmets. "Life is fragile; but strong at the edge of space." :old, old #Ojibway saying.

#Artkitteh and space-program volunteer testing #SpaceHelmets July 2013 photo JennaArtkitteh_zpsab52ee52.jpg

Zzorhn took the lead on the Space-Program props, building the helmets, spaceship and our main villain, "Neila". I did the detail painting on the model and took the greenscreen stills of the #rocket at my place.

Zzorhn's spaceship model primer coat #ZABRlollipop #Lollipop #StudioChezZzorhn July 2013 photo ZABRrocketship_June22_2013_001_zps5f9f64de.jpg#Lollipop rightside and under view greenscreen shot photo 2013-07-1009-52-37517_zps6787c7a0.jpg#Lollipop rightside and over view greenscreen wideout sideshot photo 07100958_zps2046bcc4.jpg

#Neila #scifi #StudioChezZzorhn #ELE420 #clay #model photo RattleHead_May05_2013_ZzorhnAlien002_zps9205821f.jpg#Neila #scifi #StudioChezZzorhn #ELE420 #papiermache #paper photo Neila_May09_2013_001_zps49ca519d.jpg#Neila #scifi #StudioChezZzorhn #ELE420 #papiermache #paper photo Neila_May11_2013_zpsbf604812.jpg

#Neila #scifi #StudioChezZzorhn #ELE420 #papiermache #paper photo Neila_SCZ_May31_002_zpsd84938fc.jpg#Neila #scifi #StudioChezZzorhn #ELE420 #papiermache #paper photo Neila_SCZ_May31_003_zps52602f2e.jpg#Neila #scifi #StudioChezZzorhn #ELE420 #papiermache #paper photo Neila_SCZ_June02_2013_002_zps17cb2a05.jpg

Some stills from the Earth/asteroid impact and Lunar self-destruct animations, put together in MSpaint by Eric.

Still from Eric's #AsteroidEarthImpact animation, for chapter 02 of #ELE420 #ZzorhnAndBingoRage Show July 12 2013 photo EarthCrash078_zps7836d07f.jpgStill from Eric's #AsteroidEarthImpact animation, for chapter 02 of #ELE420 #ZzorhnAndBingoRage Show July 12 2013 photo EarthCrash085_zps08123beb.jpg

Still from Eric's #MoonSelfDestruct animation, for chapter 02 of #ELE420 #ZzorhnAndBingoRage Show July 12 2013 photo moon15_zps660a1d4b.pngStill from Eric's #MoonSelfDestruct animation, for chapter 02 of #ELE420 #ZzorhnAndBingoRage Show July 12 2013 photo moon25_zps31773b4c.png

Mr. BingoRage comes to town.

Early Summer. BingoRage Studio is moved to town for the season, hosted at #StudioChezZzorhn (Fort Frances).

We have been focused on 3-dimensional work for a couple months, but we are shifting towards painting again.
Z. and I are not bound by schedule, etc. but ebb and flow in interest and exploration.

#KingVase03 (L) and #KingVase02 (R) in papier-mache, demonstrating interim changes to clay model in the paper casts.

#KingVase01 (L) and #KingVase02 (R)

The #ZzorhnAndBingoRage show set up our table at the 2013 #EmoWalleyeClassic to show off our wares, demonstrate our skills and entertain fishing-orphans and other wandering rugrats for an afternoon. It was quite an impressive setup (read: pain in the ass to set-up), showcasing works in "papier mache" (paper), bronze, antler, clay, acrylic paint and canvas. We did not generate any sales from that venue, but got a chance to get some feedback from a potential target audience; NW Ontario fishing groupies and beergarden glitterati.